A Deep Breath

The fellas are sleeping and I just got out of an indulgently long bath.  A couple of times I tried to will myself to get out, but I wasn’t ready. And, so I waited.  I sat and I breathed until I was.

Yesterday we wrapped up  what has been a busy couple of months.  It has been push for all of us.  These months have been full of wonderful things we have thoughtfully chosen to do, knowing that it would be a stretch.  It has also been full of things we have not chosen, like several rounds of us all being really sick.  At the moment, Kendall’s sinuses are being attacked by something airborne and the result does not feel good for him and is not pretty.  Finn is a total sick, stuffy-head and so is his little pal, Thomas, whom he cares for well through the day.  It feels good for us all to be spending this day resting together.  We are all glad for it.

Yesterday as I sat, finishing up the last of my projects, my heart was warmed by the purr-like snoring of my sweet boy.  I took in the stillness and peace like a deep breath.  I inhaled the peace of having him so near, so loved, so happy, and mostly well.  The peace of our life and all the love that is in it.

It is with gratitude and joy that over the past couple months I have found myself, gloriously often, with either needles and yarn in hand or sitting at the sewing machine.  I have so enjoyed making for my family and loved ones, getting us set up for various moments of celebration and play in our life–birthdays, parties, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.  My heart has swelled with pride and thankfulness as I have been joined at various times by Kendall and Finn in the creation of so many of these projects.  I have loved the late nights, when the house is quiet, and I have sat in solitude sewing, letting my mind wonder as I did.  There are so many places it would go, but most often it would go to them and the ways in which I hoped what I was making would care for them in some way and bring them joy.

On Thursday, Kendall ran out for an appointment and I had dinner mostly ready.  The house was a reflection of all the activity that has been going on it and I wanted it cleaned as we moved into the weekend.  Finn and I talked, he had a few chores that we agreed he would do and then he would play while I took care of the rest.  When he finished with his work he asked if I was almost done.  I told him that I would not be done for awhile because there still quite a bit more to be done.  With straight foreword care he said, “I’ll help you for a long time, Mama.”  And he did.  When we were done the house looked great.

This life of ours is best done together.  As I look over this year, that is what I feel so blessed to have experienced in plenty.  Not just within our family, but in those that have surrounded us and taught us by example how to love with grace, steadiness, and patience.

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