I don’t know if February is officially chocolate month, but it is my birthday month… and I love chocolate.  So, in this house it is kind of official.  Others of you may celebrate a holiday known as Valentine’s Day.  Ever heard of it?  Well, it is a day that love is celebrated and many people choose on this day to express their love through chocolate.  I have actually heard that more chocolate is bought in the month of February than all the other 11 months of the year combined. I don’t know if it is true or not, but I have heard that.

Anyway, with all this talk of February and chocolate I thought that some of you may want to join us in only buying Fair Trade (and organic, if possible) chocolate this month.  Yes, I know that it is more expensive, but it is also a treat.  You may not eat as much of it, but that is really okay.  You may not even eat any chocolate this month because you take this challenge and that is okay too.  We will all be okay.  Sometimes it’s just good to hear that, isn’t it?

I’m not sure when we started it, but it has been a few years now that Kendall and I have only bought fair trade, organic chocolate.  What we buy is about 4 times more expensive than most other brands.  We use it to eat, as is, and to bake with.  We have to think about whether we can afford it before we toss it in our basket.  While this makes it less convenient, it is also better for us and for those who hands have been involved in the creation of the bar of chocolate we are purchasing.  I would dare to say that it is more loving.

I hope some of you will join us this month.  Let me know if you do decide to take me up on this challenge to show your love through chocolate, perhaps a little better.  And, thank you, Theo Chocolate, for making such wonderful Fair Trade, organic chocolate and doing it with such passion.

Please, no matter what you decide, don’t purchase Nestle chocolate.  Do a google search on “Nestle Boycott” and you can read until your hearts content on why.

Finn and I have been taking A LOT of trips to the library.  There is usually a notice that my on hold books are on the bottom shelf because there are so many.  We walk out with smiles on our faces, our bag full and usually some that wouldn’t fit, balance on my arms.  At the beginning of this month–Snow Month–I went searching for books on snow.  I found a few recommendations from other websites, but what was the most helpful was the library catalogue.  There were quite a few that we read once and returned, but some have quickly become favorites that we will be sad to return when the time comes.

Here’s what we found:

The Nutcracker by E.T.A Hoffman and Illustrated by Maurice Sendak: We went to see the Nutcracker put on by the Pacific Northwest Ballet Company a few weeks ago and we all fell in love, but Finn fell hardest of all.

Winter Waits by Lynn Plourde: This is a really sweet story of Father Time and his son Winter.  It was so tender and uplifting.

Snow Bears by Martin Waddell: This book captures well the way Mama’s and her babies play together!  I really love this one.

Christmas Eve at the Mellops’ by Tomi Ungerer:  A quirky and funny Christmas Eve tale!  A great find by Kendy. (There is a picture of an imprisoned pig smoking, so if that offends your sensibilities I would steer clear of this one.)

The Snow Day by Komako Saki: The illustrations in this book are beautiful.  Originally written in Japanese, this is a story of a Mama and her kiddo on a snowy day.

Under the Snow by Melissa Stewart: I felt like I learned reading this book AND that Finn enjoyed it!  There is a lot of life under the snow!

The Tomten by Astrid Lindgren: The Tomten comes out at night and walks around the snowy farm talking to and caring for the animals.

Snow by Uri Shulevitz: Again, I love the illustrations in this book.  It reminds me of Prague.  A boy and his dog experience snow.

Owl Moon by Jan Yolen: These books of kiddos with their Papas are good for our hearts.  A papa takes his little girl owling for her first time.

Snowflake Bentley by Jacqueline Briggs Martin: Tells the story of Wilson Bentley.

My Brother Loved Snowflakes by Mary Bahr: Another story of Wilson Bentley told from the perspective of his brother.

Counting on Snow by Maxwell Newhouse: A well illustrated counting book of Arctic Animals.

The Snow Globe Family by Jane O’Connor: I recommend this book with hesitations.  I think I am the only one that liked this book, but the anticipation of and longing for a snow storm definitely pull me in.

I would love to hear any of your recommendations!  Please share in the comments below.

Then, the next thing I know we are both covered in raspberry colored flour and water.  I mean really covered.  It’s a blur.  I am not sure how it happened.  I think I was going to wash his hands and somewhere in the exchange of activities there was a slip of the hand.

It’s close to his nap time so I put Finn in his highchair to eat while I clean up.  As I am wiping down the counters I hear Finn say, “cleanup!”.  I say, “That’s right.  Mama’s cleaning up.”  I look over at him as I am saying this and see that he is washing himself in his glass of milk.  Taking a napkin, using it as a wash cloth, and rubbing it in his hair and all over his body.  And, I am going to go ahead and admit that I told him that he was doing a good job cleaning himself, laughed, and walked over to my computer to share this with you while he continued to “clean” himself.

When I let things be what they are, a whole new and fun world opens up to me.  May we all find the joy in our messy adventures.

Before that sweet little boy came into my life, I was getting fairly deep into the bread baking world.  I was reading about the bread science of bacteria, gluten, chemical reactions, various kinds of bonds, etc and their relationship to bread. (I happily struggled to wrap my non-scientific inclined mind around what I was learning.) There was a lot of documented experimenting happening in our kitchen and the development of some of my own recipes.  But, after Finn was born this was more than my foggy brain could handle.  It was too complicated.

Lately, I opened SouleMama‘s book The Rhythm of Family.  Before I go on, I want to share that I am very much loving this book right now.  So, it is possible that I may gush over it more in the months to come! Kendall and I read the introduction together.  It is truly delightful and encouraging.  It is broken up by months and upon picking up the book, we dove right into November.  Fairly recently, I begun to get the urge to start baking our own bread again and wouldn’t you know it, right there in November is a simple and very tasty recipe for honey, whole wheat, and oat bread.  Since our find, Finn and I have had quite a few dates to bake bread together.  It really has been fun to re-enter the baking world and getting to do it with Finn!

My husband’s voice comes in, although I cannot make out his words, for his voice is deeper with a softness to it.  His sentences are steady and paced, using just enough words.

They are talking. It makes me smile. It really does. It is so simple, but it makes me happy in a way that not much else can.

All of this I am taking in from another room. As a mama in need of rest, I am spending the day refueling.  And, Kendall is spending the day loving on Finn so that I can do this.  We are (very inefficiently) finding our way in this world. There have been some near-impossible seeming bumps along our road, but I am grateful that after 10 years of being a part of each others life that we are still finding our way together.

Peace and joy.  I’m glad to find myself in the midst of both right now.

A sailboat is going by and it very much looks like a pirate ship.  It’s progress is steady though it seems to only drift along the water, a solitary vessel.  The mountains are a shadow behind the clouds.  I’ve gone outside to sit and be, to take a few moments to allow my mind to slow and remember the feel of my roots.  Each time I have attempted this, shortly after settling in my chair and sheltering my body under a blanket, it has started to rain.  My initial reaction is to go inside, but I resist and stay where I am.  It feels good and it is what I need.

Learning to listen to what I need is something that I have been working on for years and that I will probably continue to work on my whole life.  As life changes, as it is constantly doing, I have to keep in step; adjusting my ears to tune into my new needs.  This is something that may come easily to a lot of people, but not to me and I find myself, more often than I would like, executing self-care clumsily.

Recently, Kendall, Finn, and I moved out of the city to an island just north of Seattle.  This was something we needed as a family and it has been so good for us!  We are slowing down and spending time together.  Much of our life had fallen into instability and chaos.  We were sad, scared, and didn’t have much direction.  However, there were a few areas where we felt we had really clear direction, but it meant totally scraping our lives in some ways—moving out of the city, cutting expenses drastically, selling a lot of our belongings, and placing ourselves on an island.  To many, I think it probably looked like we were creating more chaos and upheaval in our lives.  Yet to us, it was the only thing we felt sure about.  As a result our marriage, our family, and each of us individually are flourishing.  Joy and immense thankfulness well up inside of me regularly as I witness our lives steadying and moving through the waters like a pirate ship.

First, if you can imagine, there was a house here.  The house was torn down and soon after hand made signs were put up expressing anger, sadness, injustice, and grief over what took place.  Some of the signs were written as apologies to the person that lived there.  Her home was gone and now so was she.

Very soon after all the small hand-made signs were torn down and replaced by a large city council sign:

Land Use Action Site

Proposed Development Permit

Or something like that.  Anyway, the land had been bought and what they hoped to build was another set of tightly packed, 3 story town homes, each probably being budgeted to sell for at least $500,000.  This has become pretty standard here—probably not just here.  Well, it did not take long before the sign was covered in graffiti, some of it protesting the newly proposed construction.  Fences were put up and the lot set empty for at least a year.  The next thing to happen was that the land continued to sit empty, but one day the large sign was down.  Then again, nothing.  Just an empty lot.

From the beginning you could tell that something in the neighborhood was stirring about this piece of land.  Since, we were mere walk-by observers and remained to be (it wasn’t our fight, sometimes you just know) the signs were our only guide to what was happening.  We just kept hoping the good guys would win….to me that meant the community winning!

The next thing we know, we walk by and there is a notice that the City of Seattle now owns this property.  That still could mean anything.  They could sell or they could turn it into a community space.  But, it wasn’t long before we walked by and saw that it would be a future neighborhood park!  As of right now they are still planning out the space.  There are meetings and discussions, but the lot is not longer vacant.  They have opened it up for temporary use (before the official park construction actually takes place) and it is great.  The community has very respectfully taken advantage of this opportunity.  At first it was just a rocky patch of weeds, which Finn and I played in!  But it is growing.  Now, people are growing food. There is a picnic table.  A table and chairs.  Chalk and a big wall which people of all ages draw on.  Finn and I love going there and I actually like it better than most designed public parks.  It feels like a community backyard.  I kind of think this is the way a lot of things are supposed to work.  People being involved and caring.  It gives the community an opportunity to take ownership and pride in it.

I know I could have gotten involved in this or at least used my curiosity to do some research, but I didn’t.  One thing I think we all need to know are the battles we are and are not going to fight.  We can’t fight them all and sometimes it’s just nice to go for a walk, observe, and wonder.  Remember, this is important too.  Balance.

However, when something does stir in you and pull you toward it…go after it!  There are opportunities and sometimes it works out!

Thank you for all those who created this pleasant and peaceful space.  I already have many lovely memories of time spent here.

Links for more detailed (and accurate information):

Capitol Hill Seattle Blog (CHS): Post #1 Post #2

Seattle.gov: Federal/Republican Park Info

Yahoo Groups: Federal/Republican Park

Go to www.seattle.gov/stopphonebooks

I just did it and it took me 2 minutes.

Getting rid of aphids:

1. Get the aphids that are currently on the plant off.  Either wash them off with a hose or gently wipe them off with a thin cloth.
2. Spray the plant on both sides with a soapy water solution (1-2 teaspoons of soap to 1 pint of water).  This will deter new aphids from being able to land and will dry out any that happened to be left on there.

It’s pretty easy, but if you spray the solution on plants you are going to eat make sure and rinse them well before you eat them.

notes:

1. Aphids are not just green.  Take a look at some google images and you will see pictures of dark ones too.
2. Aphids are sticky little suckers.  It takes more than a gentle rinse of water to get the off the plant.  Depending on your situation I would use (A) a hose and use as much pressure as you can without damaging the plant, (B) put the plant in the shower again using as much water pressure as is safe for the plant, (C) use a spray bottle on the single spray setting and spray them off.
3. Be careful with the soapy water solution.  If you use too much you will also damage the plant.  I knew that it would probably dry out and kill at least some of the flowers on my Star Jasmine, but it was worth it because it is in a small space on our patio where we also grow food—the food was more important.

I made another call to the Garden Hotline that day because we have had these little black bugs that looked like gnats in the dirt of our indoor basil plant.  It turns out they are fungus gnats.  The big problem with them is that they can damage the root system of the plant.  After finding this out we realized that this is what killed our other indoor basil plant.  Fungus gnats are drawn to decaying organic matter (like compost) and moisture (especially standing water or really wet soil).

Getting rid of fungus gnats:

1. Let the soil dry out between waterings if that is ok for the plant.  It is for basil.  Sometimes this alone will take care of the problem.
2. Get Yellow Sticky Tape (regular tape isn’t sticky enough).  If the plant is in a container you can place the sticky tape (sticky side up) along the edge of the container.  If it is not in a container or if you need additional support you can place the sticky tape horizontally on the dirt of the plant.

I also found a great site for information on natural insect control.

***If you have any suggestions for natural pest control I would love it if you would leave a comment telling us about it.  Thank you!

Today is my mom’s birthday.  She would be 58 years old.  A few weeks ago Mummy died unexpectedly.  Cancer, it seems, had quietly ravaged her entire body.  There has been so much to think about regarding her life, her death, and our relationship.  Our relationship was really hard and for over a decade I did not have any contact with her.  The exception to this was through my writing.  She read every post I wrote, looked at every picture I posted, and wrote comments in response to what I shared.  Other than in our minds and hearts, I think it was really the only space where we were able to have a positive relationship.

She and I are alike in many ways.  Through her death I have been able to get to know her in a way that I never was able to while she was alive.  I have been, and continue to be, discovering her.

Mummy always loved adventure and fun. And, even though we were going to Mexico to say goodbye to her, I feel that she took us on a great adventure.  She lived in a town about 6 hours south of Mexico City; with Jaime at the wheel we got there in about 5.  The drive was beautiful.  We curved around mountains and hills covered by green trees and shrubs with roots digging down into burnt earth.  The road was carved out of the mountain; the edge of it dropping off into a valley.  The eight of us were in thought-filled and peaceful silence for most of the journey.  When we did talk the conversation ranged, but I was most content to listen as Abi spoke about my mom.  I wanted to be with Mummy.  Hearing her spoken about brought me closer to that.  I knew I was too late to look into her eyes, but I was ready to be with her body.

As we drove my gaze drifted between my husband, my son, all of us who had gathered to take this journey to see her, and out the window to the land we were traveling through.  I thought about her always.  I thought that her eyes had seen this very land and she had taken this very drive.  She had come to this place and I was now following her to it.  As we were driving, the night of her death, I saw one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen.  From behind mountain peeks, the sky went from blue to lavender to fiery pink.  It was as breathtaking as the sunset on the day my son was born.  My heart ached for her to see it.  Yet, nature has always powerfully presented the Spirit of God to me.  So, as God magnificently brought a close to the day, the entire sky blooming, swirling, opening up, and then bowing into the night, I felt He joined us in honoring her life and saying goodbye to a woman whose presence in this world cannot be captured by words.

I know her better since her death and I am glad to be able to celebrate her life today.

Happy Birthday, Mummy.  I miss you.