A sailboat is going by and it very much looks like a pirate ship. It’s progress is steady though it seems to only drift along the water, a solitary vessel. The mountains are a shadow behind the clouds. I’ve gone outside to sit and be, to take a few moments to allow my mind to slow and remember the feel of my roots. Each time I have attempted this, shortly after settling in my chair and sheltering my body under a blanket, it has started to rain. My initial reaction is to go inside, but I resist and stay where I am. It feels good and it is what I need.
Learning to listen to what I need is something that I have been working on for years and that I will probably continue to work on my whole life. As life changes, as it is constantly doing, I have to keep in step; adjusting my ears to tune into my new needs. This is something that may come easily to a lot of people, but not to me and I find myself, more often than I would like, executing self-care clumsily.
Recently, Kendall, Finn, and I moved out of the city to an island just north of Seattle. This was something we needed as a family and it has been so good for us! We are slowing down and spending time together. Much of our life had fallen into instability and chaos. We were sad, scared, and didn’t have much direction. However, there were a few areas where we felt we had really clear direction, but it meant totally scraping our lives in some ways—moving out of the city, cutting expenses drastically, selling a lot of our belongings, and placing ourselves on an island. To many, I think it probably looked like we were creating more chaos and upheaval in our lives. Yet to us, it was the only thing we felt sure about. As a result our marriage, our family, and each of us individually are flourishing. Joy and immense thankfulness well up inside of me regularly as I witness our lives steadying and moving through the waters like a pirate ship.